Christmas Stops Here

So no Ambridge panto this year then!

Whatever next, no pillar box? no pavement ?

However having fully reviewed the information currently available I have reached the decision that all seasonal activity, not just the Ambridge Panto, including merriment, gift exchange, peace and good will to all (wo)men, bread sauce making and consuming and Wassailing should cease with immediate affect anyway.

The reason for this ardent decision is to give the inhabitants of this fair city some distraction free, focused 'them time' to spend doing all they can to get a better handle on:

1. Use and otherwise of another person's personal space
2. The downside to dawdling - how to simply keep moving and not get in my, I mean other people's way
3. Use of ears and eyes to constantly monitor one's immediate surroundings and to take evasive action as and when required for the safety and comfort of others (me).

It would seem to me that as most of the population will need to have intensive behavioural and attitudinal retuning, henceforth referred to as BAR™, in order to meet the required standards, quite a considerable amount of time will need to be earmarked and Christmas will only get in the way and sway focus due to eggnog and mistletoe related distractions.

I know a lot of you have already put a lot of love and effort into lubricating the path of enjoyment, both for yourself and those close to you, and I am sorry if this new ruling comes as a blow. But don't worry as most gifts and yuletide accessories will keep, and everything is returnable with a 'gift receipt' at this time of the year.

So there you go. Can you imagine how fresh the New Year will feel with all peoples 'retuned', moving, looking and listening, getting on with it and utilising a range of consideration based common sense skills. Oh joy!

Do have a lovely Christmas.

And finally from the old jokes home:

Q - Why do Mary and Joseph really like mini babybel so much?
A - Because they love the baby Cheeses