I’m not sure whether I’ve mentioned this before, but I do think I should bring out my own fitness video. Well I seem to be the only person on the planet that hasn’t. I was perusing the aisles in WH Smith this lunchtime, oh how Catford doth overfloweth with top hole boutiques, and I was drawn to the DVD section, always on the look out for something new to add to the lovefilm list you see.
The top ten however is chocca with fitness DVDs. Now I never knew you could get as fat as some of the people in their before shots. I know the industry expectation is that you will slouch and breath out, and I know having a kiddie can give you a bit of a bulge, but ladies and gentlemen there is no need to be this fat! I hope that ice is reinforced!
Moving along the shelf I nearly spat out my barley sugar when I can across fatty from steps. She takes ‘Oh yes I have put on a couple of extra pounds – damn those full fat yoghurts’ to a new and hither to unreachable level.
There’s also letitita dean – she’s down to a six and has found her waist, somebody from strictly come anorexia – no is wasn’t Bruce, Davina ‘ yes even your little bit of grey’, someone from corrie, Natalie Cassidy’s then and now and several people who must be famous for being on big brother or for living in a back to back ‘celebrities on the toilet’ – that sort of thing. Oh yes and how could I have forgotten Coleen Nolan’s disco burn! It is a lifestyle choice whichever way you slice the cream cake.
So if there’s money to be made, well why not. Ive got the wee fit now, and a good collection of jogging bottoms, I think they’re called sweat pants these days. I’ve unlocked advanced hoola, and my tight rope walking is coming on in leaps and bounds, so there has to be spectator mileage in that.
Now what I don’t have is a head band or any gold jewellery – so I’ll need to crack on with that. And leg warmers, I best check which shade are in this season and then log on to Pineapple.
So I’m quite excited now, fitness and fame, muck and brass.
I’ll keep you posted.