Always follow your doctor’s instructions

I do believe that carrying a handkerchief is a jolly good idea, and is certainly encouraged by health promoters as a tool to stop the spread of infection.

There is a great poster in our kitchen at work which reminds me of war office style guidance. It’s not quite ‘you never know who is listening’, or ‘keep calm and carry on’, but still tip top advice on what to do with the germs which so many people happily sneeze out into this shared atmosphere of ours.

‘Catch it, Bin it, Kill it!’

I don’t carry a handkerchief myself, as I sneeze very rarely. I mostly have a constitution of an ox when it comes to illness, and don’t really get colds from one year to the next. When I say ox, please note I am picturing quite a haggard old ox whose only health qualities are that he doesn’t sneeze.

I’m sure now I come to think about it that my father had handkerchiefs embroidered with his initials. The closest I ever got to individual embroidery was those name tags mum had to sew into my school jumper. Why she bothered I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve ever lost anything. Some people are forever losing things. I know some people who regularly mislay their mobiles or house keys. Whilst they are calmly not batting an eyelid and I am nodding in an attempt at shared tranquil nonchalance I am quietly thinking ‘how could you be so stupid, why don’t you care, what is wrong with you?’ etc etc, but I digress (regress)

So handkerchiefs. Yes many benefits, blah blah blah, but did you know they could heal?

Well they can. This lunchtime one of my team was handed a lovely leaflet in the street. The leaflet tells the story of Audrey Tung. This is Audrey’s Story.

‘Since childhood things just never seemed to go right for me. There was always some crisis to confront and my family were at their wits end trying to help me. I found myself at the brink of despair more times than I want to remember’.

Now I am sure that many of us have experienced times of despair and challenge and can sympathise with the story, but have any of us ever found solution and solace the way Audrey did?

‘One day my grandmother brought me a blessed handkerchief and from that day I began to have anew outlook on life.’

So where can you get your very own Blessed handkerchief from – I know you want one - Calm down dear it’s only a blog - I know, I know, give me a minute and I’ll tell you.

Well you want to pop along to your nearest Universal Church of the Kingdom of God (UCKG) this Sunday where they will be handed out ‘free of charge’.

The handkerchief has a lovely red cross on it and the material used has been blessed at the garden tomb, the pool of Siloam, Gethsemane, the upper room and the Jordan river. Well you can’t say fairer than that can you? Well can you?

I’ve done a little research and it appears there are other religious trinkets which may also help.

• The faith nail – for hammering through prayers I believe
• Catholic miracle medal – something about Jesus
• Prayer candles – you have to melt it with someone else’s in the prayer tower - sounds a bit kinky if you ask me
• Paper prayer rugs – for kneeling on during prayer, easy wipe by all accounts

and of course, my favourite...............

• the prayer fleece – don’t ask, just drink, it always works for me.

So dear reader, I do hope that when you get your new handkerchief you also get a new outlook on life, but be warned by the following disclaimer: ‘the UCKG does not claim to heal anyone, but believes that God can through the power of faith. Always follow your doctor’s instructions.’

All the best from the west and toodles.

WHGGIII xxx

PS since writing this blog I have sneezed 3 times. I think it is a sign and will be consulting my spirit guide (Peggy) forthwith.